As I navigate the role of caretaker for my 94-year-old father, there are days when I feel defeated. Yet I know this is where I am meant to be.
I am a baby boomer, born in 1964. As we are living longer, many of us, born between 1946 and 1964, and some in the next generation, are now facing the role of “parent” to our own mother and/or father, as our new norm.
At least 17.7 million Americans serve as family caregivers for individuals aged 65 and older who require assistance due to physical, mental, or cognitive limitations. (NCBI) Older adults constitute the largest group receiving care, accounting for 41% of care recipients. (Guardian Life) The average caregiving period is four years. Notably, 24% of caregivers provide care for more than five years, and 15% for a decade or longer. (Caregiver +2)
These are daunting statistics, yet it is the reality. As of 2020, approximately 53 million Americans—more than 1 in 5—were providing unpaid care to an adult, a significant increase from 43.5 million in 2015. (CDC)
58% of caregivers are women. 79% of care is for adults aged 50 or older. 76% of care recipients are aged 65 or older. Caregivers often experience physical and emotional strain. Nearly 1 in 5 caregivers report that they are in fair or poor health. (CDC)
How do we do it?
Caring for a parent or two means stepping into a role we are never trained for—nurse, counselor, advocate, and sometimes, emotional anchor. It’s deeply meaningful, but it can also feel incredibly isolating.
Imagine being on call 24/7, not for a job, but for someone you love who’s fading. You become their memory, their strength, their voice—while trying not to lose your own. To care for someone is to give up pieces of yourself, your time, your rest, your independence, so they can hold on to theirs.
It’s like running a marathon every day, emotionally. There’s love, but there’s also guilt, grief, and burnout that no one sees. Without effective tools to manage each day, part-time or full-time caretaking takes its toll.
I’m grateful that my experience as a coach, along with my Master’s in Transpersonal Psychology and practices in meditation and mindfulness, have all helped me in the demanding role of caregiver. I collected tools over the years, never thinking I would need them the most with a loved one. No matter how much I center myself through meditation and mindfulness, nothing has stretched my spirit and strength like the role of caregiver, going deep into my core.
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